How do you feel about expectations? Are they a good thing?
Because I talked with someone recently about expectations, I immediately thought this would be good topic for my article.
She said she would like to live a life free of expectations. Also, she found herself at times “with 10 pounds of stuff, trying to fit it into a 5 pound bag”.
This got me thinking. Are they harmful to have? Would a person’s life be better without them?
Below is something I found online about this topic:
“In a way, expectations can be helpful: they can give us a sense of motivation and direction, or help us meet certain standards. However, when expectations influence our thoughts too much, or when we give into others’ wishes instead of following our own path, it can greatly affect our personal wellbeing.
Only, how do we manage expectations instead of letting them rule our lives?
Managing Personal Expectations
We expect a lot of ourselves. Unfortunately, our expectations are often unrealistic, which can cause a lot of stress and self-criticism—so it’s important to manage them well.
Give Yourself Time
Many people want stuff when we want it—but that can make us hard on ourselves in terms of personal expectations. Ambition is a great thing in healthy doses, but if we expect to instantly achieve our goals, it creates internal conflict. Be mindful of your own timeline as you set goals and objectives, and make sure you have a realistic plan to get you there.”
Communicating your expectations, thoughts and desires with co-workers, spouses and friends, adds respect and clarity. In a personal growth class I took, they referred to saying to another, “I have a request.”
Furthermore, as I thought about expectations, I related them to perhaps setting intentions.
Do you remember me sharing about Segment Intending in other articles?
In this realm of expectations, I view them as a healthy thing to have.
As a result of stopping throughout your day, taking a few moments to feel and see how things will be in the next “segment” of your day, you are allowing more of the positive things to come to you.
I’ll add the link to read my blog about Segment Intending at the bottom if you’d like a better understanding of what it is.
Similarly, working toward something specific you’d like to have in your life, is a form of an expectation. Setting a goal may be another.
To me, when you see something in your minds eye and feel it, this form of an expectation, is calling it closer to you.
Only when you “beat yourself up’ or berate yourself in any way, it turns the expectation into something negative. It puts you on the right side of the Emotional Scale.
I’ll include that again at the bottom since you may need to see it again.
I saw this quote in many places as I researched this topic:
“Expectation is the cause of all disappointment”. What do you think?
When you find yourself as my friend said, “with 10 pounds of stuff, trying to fit it into a 5 pound bag”, remember to be gentle with yourself.
Sometimes we can be our most harsh critic. To me this is the part of expectations that aren’t healthy for you. It’s seeming to me, it’s all in how you relate to an expectation, if it’s good for you or not. As the meme says above, it’s a focus with a vibration.
Lastly, remember to be realistic with your expectations, so you aren’t setting yourself up for failure. And don’t compare yourself to others.
Please feel free to send me a comment with your thought on this topic.
I would like to hear them!
With much appreciation,
Connie
PS. Here is a link to read more from the quotes above:
PSS. Here is a link to read my article about Segment Intending:
https://www.conniehertz.com/what-is-segment-intending-how-can-it-help-you/
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